Dirty Riddles

Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?A: 1 U.S. leaderQ: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?A: A cherry float.Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?A: Beat it - we're closed.Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?A: To find a tight seal.Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.Q: What's the speed limit of sex?A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"Q: Why is air a lot like sex?A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?A: K9P.Q: What's another name for pickled bread?A: Dill-dough.Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?A: She's withholding evidence.Q: What's the difference between light and hard?A: You can sleep with a light on.Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.Q: What's the height of conceit?A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.Q: What's the definition of macho?A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?A: Their balls are just for decoration.Q: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog.Q: Why is divorce so expensive?A: Because it's worth it.