Did you hear the one about Dave? [longer joke but one of my favorites]

So Dave is looking for a new job and he gets an interview at a big corporation with the CEO. During the interview the normal questions are asked like what qualifications he has, his flaws, etc... Then the CEO asks Dave, "Give me one solid reason why I should hire you." to which Dave replies, "I literally know everybody." The CEO looking confused says, "What do you mean literally everybody?" Dave explains to the CEO that he literally knows everybody and encourages the CEO to name any one person and he promises he knows them.

"I bet you dont know Tom Cruise", says the CEO

"Tom!? Oh hell yeah! We took a few acting classes together back in college, great guy."

"Bullshit!" the CEO replies, "Im getting us flight right know and we are going to go visit him."

So Dave and the CEO get on a plane and head out west to find Tom Cruise's home. After some searching they find it and go to knock on the door. To the CEO's surprise Tom answers the door and the first thing out of his mouth is, "DAVE! Oh man, I havent seen you in ages, come on in and share a drink with me!" After a few hours of shooting the shit and pounding some brews the CEO and Dave decide its time to leave. On the way to the airport the CEO tells Dave, "Ok, so im still not convinced, I mean, small world right? You couldnt possibly know Tom Cruise AND the president!" Dave smirks and says, "Would you like to go find out?"

The CEO immediately buys plane tickets to go to D.C. to see if Dave is full of shit or not. The two manage to get on a tour of the White House when out of no where the CEO hears somebody yelling, "Dave! Hey! Dave! So good to see you! Ive got a lot of meetings today but lets get a cup of coffee real quick!" The CEO turns around to find that the president is the one yelling at Dave. Stunned and almost convinced that Dave literally knows everybody, the CEO says, "Ok, mister, Tom Cruise and the president, thats impressive, but I highly doubt you know the Pope!" Dave then recalls stories of his parents growing up in a small town with the Pope. The CEO ready to finally call Dave out fronts the bill for tickets to the Vatican to try and meet the Pope. As they stand in the crowd of thousands and thousands of people waiting to be blessed by the Pope, Dave tells the CEO, "Im going to try to get us a better view." Dave makes his way past a few guards and up some stairs and the next thing you know he's walking out next to the Pope.

Dave returns to find the CEO is having a heart attack. Dave asks what happened and the CEO replies,

"I was blown away by the fact you knew the Pope but what really got me was the guy behind me who said, 'Hey! Who is that asshole with Dave?'"