Deep Thoughts

Some DEEP THOUGHTS to start off your week with:


. How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?


. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
OTHERS here for?


. STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.


. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


. Clones are people two.


. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he
still wrong?


. No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.


. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.


. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?


. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


. Think "honk" if you're telepathic.


. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went
nuts.


. I went to a store which said open 24 hours and he was closing. When I
asked why he said, "We're open 24 hours, but not in a row."


. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?


. I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are
furious.


. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?


. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?


. Disney World is a people trap operated by a mouse?


. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak?


. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?


. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is
dead?