Dave comes back from his Italian holiday...

... and he's telling his friends about it in the pub.
"Whilst we were there, the Pope gave a speech at the Vatican." he says. "I went along."
"What did you go for?" one of his mates asks. "You're an atheist."
"I know... but it was just one of those 'once in a lifetime' things, you know? I'll never get to see that again." Dave's known as a bit of a crank, so his mates start to doubt his tale. "I even got some new clothes and a haircut, just for the occasion."
"Fuck off Dave!" says his mate. "You got a haircut, in Italy, to see the pope? It's like £90 to get your hair done over there!"
"Only if you go to the touristy places mate. I found one down a little backstreet. Anyway, we get there, and he's up on the balcony, talking, and there's thousands of people watching... and I do mean thousands, probably tens of thousands, all in dead silence. And then the pontiffs eyes settled on me, and he went quiet. It was really one of those hairs on the back of your neck things."
"Get lost Dave."
"No, really. He went quiet and he came down the stairs to our level and all these Catholics parted like the red sea. It was amazing. I was in awe."
"You're so full of shit, Dave!" says his mate.
"Honest. Swear on me life. He just stood there looking at me, me looking back at him, all these thousands of Italians staring at us..."
"Bullshit."
"And then he says to me, "what's your name, son?" So I told him it was David. And he placed one hand on my head and says "David... who the fuck cut your hair?" "