Company buzz words

New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90's


Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed
or a project failed, and who was responsible.


Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on
anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.


Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then
leaves.


Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee
headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.


Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.


Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.


Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.


Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,
and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.


SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children,
Oppressive Mortgage.


Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.


Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no
kids, no property, and no regrets.


Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.


Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.


Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their
jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."


Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.


Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.


Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes
reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped
and gone on shooting rampages.


Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office
or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here.


Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.


Chips and Salsa: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta
figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa."


Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave
a company or department soon.


GOOD job: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to
pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.


Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime
example.


Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of attacking an electronic device to get
it to work again.


Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a Vice
President at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an
uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for
assistance." See also Decruitment.


Vulcan Nerve Pinch: The taxing hand positions required to reach all the
appropriate keys for commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II
computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command key, the
Return key and the Power On key.