Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the door and walked all the way to the local train driver's school, where all the best train drivers learned their craft.



He spent four years in the school, learning all the secrets of operating trains. He'd spend late nights studying how to accelerate and honk the horn. He was going to be the best train driver in the history of trains.



So, when he got his diploma of train driving, he rushed straight to the nearest railroad company. When they saw his credential, he was hired instantly. And so his train driving career had begun.



His first day of the job, he was driving a wonderful train down the tracks. All of a sudden, he saw a young woman standing on the tracks! He slammed his foot down on the brakes, hoping to stop the train before it hit the poor lady. Sadly, he was too slow. The woman was killed by the train.



Now, in his hometown, killing anyone with a train is illegal, even by accident. And so the man was sentenced to death by electric chair. As he sat in death row, the warden approached him and asked what he'd like his last meal to be.



His request was quite odd, it turned out, as he asked for buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle. The warden, however, obliged the man's odd request and got him his last meal. The man ate his meal in silence, knowing his time on the earth was almost gone.



The next morning, he was woken and taken to the electric chair. He was strapped in by the warden, who then walked over to the switch. The prison warden pulled down the switch, but nothing happened. The man was unharmed!



Now, in the man's hometown, you're free to go if the electric chair fails to kill you, so the man was relieved of all charges. He went home, a bit shaken up mentally, but physically unharmed.



The next day, he returned to his train driving job and started operating the train. He was driving along, not a care in the world, when he saw another young lady on the tracks. Alarmed, he slammed on the brakes, but was too slow. Another woman was dead, due to his train.


And so he found himself again on death row. The warden came by and inquired what he would like for his last meal. The answer was the same. Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle.



He awoke the next morning in his cell, and was taken to the electric chair. The warden pulled the switch, but nothing happened! He was again free to go home.



And so, once again, he returned to his job the next day. He drove his train for quite some time, without any problems, when he saw yet another young lady on the tracks. He pulled the emergency brake, hoping to save the woman's life, but he was too slow. She, unfortunately, was hit by the train.



For a third time, the man found himself in a cell. For a third time, the warden asked for his last meal order. And for a third time, he order buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle.



The next morning, he was taken to the electric chair. The warden strapped him and and prepared to pull the switch. The man sat tensed, not sure what was about to happen. However, when the switch was pulled, nothing happened.



The man sat in the seat for a minute, thinking to himself. Finally, he spoke up.



"After being in this chair three times, I've come to realize something. I guess I'm just not a good conductor."