Your garbage can is your "in" box.
You sleep more at work than at home.
Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell."
You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge.
You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee.
Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you
just don't care.
Your friend calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off
my back, jerk!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.