Australian Thesaurus of Computer Terminology

Australian Thesaurus of Computer Terminology


Log on - Make the barbie hotter
Log off - Don't add any more wood
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbie
Download - Get the wood off the ute
Hard drive - trip home without any cold tinnies
Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Backup - How you get the ute out of the shed
Keyboard - where you hang the ute keys
Windows - What you shut when there's a dust storm
Screen - What you shut when there are blowies or mozzies about
RAM - How you get the fence post in
Byte - What mozzies do
Bit - What mozzies did
Megabyte - What Townsville mozzies do
Chip - Accompanies fish
Microchip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem - What you do to the lawns
Cable - The thing wound around the winch on the front of the ute
Dot Matrix - Old Don Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe - What holds the shed up
Web - What spiders make
Web Site - The shed or under the veranda
Cursor - The old bloke who swears a lot
Search Engine - What you do when the ute won't go
Yahoo - What you say when the ute does go
Upgrade - A steep hill
Server - The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch
User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing the lawn mower
Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online - When you get the washing hung out
Offline - When the pegs don't hold the washing up