Assembler Mnemonics (really techie)


Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations called MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO, the programmer writes JMP or even BRA (branch).These instructions are frequently abbreviated into total incomprehensibility. Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary. Anyone who has spent any time programming in assembler knows that all computers can be programmed using an undocumented set of instructions. Frequently when an error is made writing a program in assembler a user can actually see the program executing the undocumented instructions. These instructions vary from machine from machine, but all computers have a certain set of them in common. As a service to humanity, I am here revealing these common instructions for the first time. ARG: Agree to Run GarbageBDM: Branch and Destroy MemoryCMN: Convert to Mayan NumeralsDDS: Damage Disk and StopEMR: Emit Microwave RadiationETO: Emulate Toaster OvenFSE: Fake Serious ErrorGSI: Garble Subsequent InstructionsGQS: Go Quarter SpeedHEM: Hide Evidence of MalfunctionIDD: Inhale Dust and DieIKI: Ignore Keyboard InputIMU: Irradiate and Mutate UserJPF: Jam Paper FeedJUM: Jeer at Users MistakeKFP: Kindle Fire in PrinterLNM: Launch Nuclear MissilesMAW: Make Aggravating WhineNNI: Neglect Next InstructionOBU: Overheat and Burn if UnattendedPNG: Pass Noxious GasQWF: Quit Working ForeverQVC: Question Valid CommandRWD: Read Wrong DeviceSCE: Simulate Correct ExecutionSDJ: Send Data to JapanTTC: Tangle Tape and CrashUBC: Use Bad ChipVDP: Violate Design ParametersVMB: Verify and Make BadWAF: Warn After FactXID: eXchange Instruction with DataYII: Yield to Irresistible ImpulseZAM: Zero All MemoryPI : Punch InvalidPOPI: Punch Operator ImmediatelyRASC: Read And Shred CardRPM: Read Programmers MindRSSC: Reduce Speed, Step Carefully (for improved accuracy)RTAB: Rewind Tape and BreakRWDSK: ReWind DiSKSPSW: Scramble Program Status WordSRSD: Seek Record and Scar DiskWBT: Water Binary Tree

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.