And lands her eyes on a beautiful parrot. Lovely plumage and everything. She goes to the store owner and says, "I want this parrot. How much is it for?"
The shop owner says, "2000 dollars"
The lady says, "I understand the parrot is beautiful, but isn't the price a bit too high?"
Shop owner says, "Lady, this parrot is called Mickey and it talks. A lot. Go ahead ask it something."
The lady asks the parrot - "Hello Mickey, what do you think of me?"
The parrot says - "I think you're a cum-hungry whore, bitch!"
The lady is offended and says, "No way am I taking such a potty-mouth parrot."
The shop owner intervenes with "Lady, please give me 10 minutes and I will ensure Mickey behaves."
The shop owner then takes the parrot to the back of the store, brings out a pale of water, dunks Mickey in and asks "Are you going to fucking swear again?"
Mickey says, "Sure as fuck I will, you piece of shit!"
The shop owner then gets another bucket full of ice water, dunks Mickey in for 15 seconds and says, "How about now, fuckwit?"
Mickey goes, "I have learned my lesson, master. Please don't ever do that to me again. I shall be civil for the rest of my days."
The shop owner then brings Mickey back out and tells the lady, "I have cured him. You can test."
The lady then says, "Mickey, what will you say if I come home with a man?"
Mickey says, "That you have come home with your husband."
The lady asks again, "And what if I come home with two men?"
Mickey says, "That you are having a family dinner with your husband and your brother."
The lady then asks, "And what if I come home with three men?"
Mickey says, "Bro you better fetch that bucket of ice-water, I told you the bitch is a fucking whore."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.