And another day in Eden...

�And God created Adam and Eve�
On yet another day in Eden, God decided to take a casual stroll away from his more-or-less successful creations�he didn�t get very far before being interrupted once again by the individuals created �in his likeness��theoretically anyway. The stampede of footsteps behind him signaled the arrival of the two �perfect� creations.
�Father! Eve�s breaking one of the Commandments again!�
God wearily wondered whether there were any of the one thousand two hundred and sixty four Commandments that had not yet been broken by those two�perhaps the last one: �Thou shalt not, in thine own conceit, force others to hear tired, old jokes, over and over again.� However, Adam�s facial expression indicated a transgression of a far worse caliber.
�Father, tell Eve that you commanded us to walk around naked and unabashed! She�s not following the rules, she�s wearing UNDERWEAR!� Adam squealed.
�So? There�s nothing wrong with it! Besides, you should consider covering up that �ding-dong� of yours, all the apes make fun of you!� Eve retorted.
�I am superior to them in every aspect!�
God raised an incredulous eyebrow.
�Dad� Adam pressed, �Tell her you created me to be dominant in that aspect too!�
God considered this for a moment, thinking back to the creation of all his creatures. Finally, he responded,
�Well, I suppose I disregarded that tiny detail�I did give you a bigger brain though.�
�Brain? Who needs a brain? I need my �banana� to be this loooong!�
�Daddy, he just wants to be bigger than Joe Ape, hehehe�Once Joe showed him his �ding-dong� and Adam�s eyes bugged out in surprise, and envy�� Eve chimed in.
�Liar! I just got something in my eye!�
�And since then, he�s been trying to compensate for it by boasting to Joe �I got to shave first, and then I drank half a bottle of that water in Father�s cabinet and didn�t even feel tipsy when returning to the cave��
�Ah, so that�s where all my good Old Spice has been disappearing to�.� God mumbled to himself.
�Tattletale! Besides, how do you know what I talk to Joe about? You probably wear that underwear to impress him! Soon you�ll start wearing a BRA! You�re dressing like�like� like a slut!� Adam rebutted.
�Slut? There�s no such word! You just made it up! Besides, it wasn�t me trying to impress him by saying �I reproduced FIVE times last night!� You wish you could, you erotomaniac-wannabe. You�ve never gone more than three!�
God could feel his blood pressure rising, despite his doctor�s warnings about stress and hypertension�
�Erotomaniac? Now you made up a word! Besides, I just eat too much at dinner and my blood is redirected to improper places��
�Excuses, excuses. Wrong place here, wrong timing there�you could at least try to be more creative�� Eve continued.
God, heeding his doctor�s advice pulled out a vial and with a shaking hand placed a nitroglycerin pill under his tongue. He then sighed with relief, and with a few well-placed smacks on the butt effectively stopped the argument. He then prophesied, �I promise you, for the first two thousand years, all Eves will wear more and more progressively, then for the next two thousand they shall, in their vanity, gradually undress to impress all average Joe Apes, and so it shall continue until judgement day. And all Adams shall value not their brains, but their �ding-dongs� and compare their size with every Joe Ape��
-Thus far, the prophecy hasn�t failed yet�