Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long,
grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as
lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese
tortures known to man."


"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and
entered the house.


Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and
had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she
couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's
warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could
bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was
careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he
crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.


He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock
on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on
chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old
man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up,
walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed
another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to
the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped
out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large
sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to
bedpost."