An Englishman, an Irishman & a Scotsman get captured by Iraqis during the first gulf war...

They get taken to an Iraqi military base in the middle of the desert.
Saddam Hussein himself is there, and explains to them that they're at a secret location the allies don't know about so there's no chance of a rescue but they're only 50 miles from the Kuwait border. He says they're welcome to use any of the vehicles & equipment on the base to escape to Kuwait, and if they make it to the border they're free to go as his men will not shoot over it. The catch is, they get a 5 minute head start before the full might of the Iraqi army starts hunting them.

So the Englishman says "I'll take that turbocharged jeep", the Iraqis turn their backs while the Englishman jumps in the jeep & speeds off towards the border. 5 minutes later Saddam sends an attack helicopter which easily catches him up & blows him to bits.

The Scotsman then thinks for a moment and says "I'll use that helicopter" so the Iraqis turn their backs as he jumps in the attack helicopter that got the Englishman & speeds off towards the border. 5 minutes later they launch a surface to air missile that blows the Scotsman out of the sky.

Smugly, the Iraqis turn to the Irishman and say "Well? What do you want?" To which the Irishman replies "I'll have a duck and 4 springs, please." The Iraqis are puzzled, but they round up the stuff, give it to the Irishman and turn their backs. 5 minutes later there's no sign of him at all. Saddam launches everything to hunt him, to no avail. They find him sitting on the other side of the border, having apparently been there for quite some time. "How the hell did you do that?" asks Saddam, both bewildered & impressed by the speed of his journey, to which the Irishman replies; "Foursprung duck technique".

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