Albert Brooks told this joke on Periscope yesterday

Okay, so this woman turns 50 years old and she wants to treat herself...finds the best plastic surgeon she can and she just says, you know, “Give me the best face lift you can for the money.”

So this guy gives her a face lift and he takes off the bandages and the doctor says “Wow, I think this is the best I’ve ever done. What do you think?”

She looks in the mirror, she says, “Oh my god, I look beautiful!” She’s thrilled.

So she goes out, she goes to the drug store, says to the girl at the counter, she says, “How old do you think I look?”

The girl says, “25.”

She says, “I’m 50! I’m 50 years old!”

Girl says, “Wow.”

She walks down the street. She goes to a newsstand. She buys a paper. She says to the guy, “How old do you think I look?”

The guys says, “I don’t know, 29?”

She says, “I’m 50! I’m 50 years old!”

He says, “Wow.”

She walks to the McDonald’s. She buys some fries. She says to the girl behind the counter, “How old do you think I look?”

The girl says, “I don’t know...30?”

She says, “I’m 50!” She’s thrilled.

She walks down the street. She sees an eighty year-old guy at a bus stop. She sits down. She says to the guy “How old do you think I look?”

The guy says, “You know, I don’t see well, I have cataracts, I...I’m not good. I can’t really tell from my eyesight.”

She says “Come on, take a guess. How old do you think I look?”

The guy says, “Well I do have a way of telling but it’s not by looking.”

She says, “Well...how can you tell?”

He says, “Let me feel your breasts.”

She says, “I don’t know..that’s a weird thing. I don’t know about that.”

He says, “Well, then don’t ask.”

She says, ”Okay, go ahead.”

She looks around. There’s nobody there. He reaches in. He’s feeling her breasts. He’s squeezing the nipples. He’s pushing them together. He says, “You’re 50 years old.”

She says, “How did you know that?”

He says, “I was behind you at McDonald’s.”