After i heard the the one about Abe and his wife trying to poison him... I remembered this one.

A Polish man from Chicago married a Wisconsin girl after he had been in the
states a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got
along very well. Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked
him if he could arrange a divorce for him "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances and asked him the following questions:


LAWYER: Have you any grounds?


POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.


LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"


POLE: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.


LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"


POLE: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed one."


LAWYER "I mean, what are your relations like?"


POLE: "All my relations are in Poland."


LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"


POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We
don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."


LAWYER: " No, I mean does your wife beat you up?"


POLE: NO: " I'm always up before her."


LAWYER: " WHY do you want this divorce?"


POLE: "SHE going to kill me."


LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"


POLE: "I got proof."


LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"


POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put
on shelf in bathroom. I can read - it says, "Polish Remover."