A zoo gets a new gorilla...

and it was a female. At first, the gorilla was the hit of the zoo, bringing in crowd after crowd; however, after a few weeks, it began to become increasingly aggressive and violent. The managers of the zoo frantically searched for the cause of the aggression and eventually discovered that the female was in heat and would remain aggressive until she were placed in the company of a male gorilla. But the zoo was unable to obtain any male gorillas, so they held a meeting to decide what they were going to do to resolve the issue. After a long discussion, one of the employees threw out a possibility.. "Well", he said, "there's a guy who works here named mike who's rumored to be able to please any female."
The group didn't seem to have a choice in the matter, so they sought out mike, and finding him, offered him a deal. They asked him if he would have sex with the gorilla for $5,000. Mike thought about it for a moment, and considering the gravity of their proposal, requested the night to think it over. They agreed.
The next day, they return to Mike and ask if he has an answer. He says "Yes. I will accept your proposal, on 3 conditions."
"Of course", they say.
"First: I do not want to have to kiss the beast."
They quickly agree.
"Second: I do not want to be responsible for the product of this union."
The managers understood, so again, they agreed.
"And third", he said, "You need to give me a week to come up with the $5,000."