A woman in her 50's gets plastic surgery on a regular basis, now she's back at her surgeons office yet again.

The doctor politely states that "Since you are regularly getting nips, tucks, and lifting done you would be a perfect candidate for an experimental procedure that would all but eliminate the need for further operations." The woman is intrigued.


"What we do is install a small knob on the back of your neck right below your hair line so your hair conceals the knob itself. Every couple of weeks, you just turn it slightly and it pulls everything back up and tight and you look like you're in your 20's again." The woman asks a few questions then anxiously agrees to the procedure.


The procedure goes off without a hitch, the doctor visits her in the recovery room. "Now just go easy with it at first but after it settles in, feel free to use it every few weeks as we discussed and then check back in with me in 6 months just to see how its going."


6 months pass and she returns to the surgeon for her follow-up. "Doctor! This is wonderful!! All of my friends have been exceptionally complimentary and everyone wants to know my new beauty secret!" "That's great news! Everything going well then?" "I do have a couple of questions. It seems that no matter how much I turn the knob, I cannot get the bags under my eyes to go away." "Its probably just some remaining swelling but ill take a look."


The doctor inspects her for a minute or two to figure out what's going on. "Well, I understand why those bags aren't going away, its not swelling after all, its your tits."

"Oh, I guess that explains the goatee then."