A verse of unit puns

The Units Verse
by Kevin Ahern

Two thousand pounds of Chinese soup
Will make a restaurant run

In Beijing, China order it
In units of Won ton

Religious leaders measure clout
From Nome to Amsterdam

By how much clout they have with God
The units - billi-grams

Is the ratio of circumference
To diameter my, my

Of homes in northern latitudes
Known as Eskimo pi?

Four fifty three graham crackers is
An awful lot to bake

Into dessert when prepping up
A really good pound cake

The units used for cleaning breath
Are very small, so cope

One millionth of a mouthwash is
A single microScope

I bet you didn’t know the floor
Was there until it beckoned

You hit a peel and then went down
In one bananosecond

And when your mother’s mother goes
To phone you from her van

Speed dialing is the way she calls
That is one instragram

A nickel isn’t worth too much
In these inflated times

Put four of them together, though
To make a paradigms

Geometrically I’ll bet that you
Must get it all the time

But did you know the distance twixt
Two jokes is one straight line?

I hate it when my socks get wet
It’s not what I’d have chosen

A thousand milliliters of
Them make one literhosen

For mockingbirds two thousand is
A lot, please hear my words

But that’s what you will need to have
Two kilomockingbirds

And if you shuffle playing cards
Remember fifty two

Is what you have when someone hands
One decacard to you

A tiny trout, I just found out
Won’t make a tasty dish

Cuz one millionth of one of those
Is just a microfiche

And if you’re into monogramming
Listen to me, ma’am

A pair of them together gives
One single diagram

If you should lose your voice it might
Just leave you feeling sour

But think of it in better terms
You’ve now got more hoarse power

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