**Georgia**
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
**Louisiana**
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana..." When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
**South Carolina**
A man in South Carolina has a flat tire, so he pulls off on the side of the road places a bouquet of flowers both in front of the car and behind it. Then he gets back in the car to wait. A passerby studies the scene as he drives by, and is so curious that he turns around and goes back. He asks the fellow what the problem was.
The man replies, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asks, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responds, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
**Tennessee**
A Tennessee State Trooper pulls over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replies, "Any ID 'bout whut?"
**Texas**
The Sheriff pulls up next to a Texan unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asks, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right there by the side of the road?"
"Yessir officer," the Texan replies. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here; 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
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