A psychiatrist is reporting for his first day of work at a mental institution...

Since it is his first day the staff is introducing him to the patients in the ward. They get to the first room and the patient is grasping and touching all over his head. "Hi, I'm the new doctor here. Can you tell me what you're doing?" The patient replies, "I'm getting my head together, I'm getting out of here!" "OK then," says the doctor and goes to the next room. Here the patient has a pile of his own feces which he is kneading with his hands. Again the doctor inquires as to what the patient is doing to which he replies, "I'm getting my shit together, I'm getting out of here!" The doctor smiles and nods and proceeds to the third room. Here the patient has a big jar of chunky peanut butter which he has placed around his genitals and is vigorously using as a masturbatory aid. Before the doctor can even ask what could possibly be happening, the patient blurts out, "I'm fucking nuts, I'm never getting out of here!"

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