A Pope dies...

....and goes to heaven. Upon arrival he is ushered into a long queue of people to be judged for his sins. He says to the usher, "I'm the Pope, I don't need to be judged." The usher just shakes his head and pushes the Pope forwards towards the back of the line.

The Pope looks ahead and sees that the line is very long. There are about 70 people lining up and each person takes roughly 10 mins before they are let free. Thinking he's going to be waiting for a number of hours, he has a bright idea and walks up to the front of the queue.

Not wanting to be too greedy he speaks to the person third in line from the front. He says, "I'm the Pope, let me stand in front of you." The man replies with, "Sorry I'm a Christian, I don't recognise the authority of the Pope."

Not giving up hope the Pope goes and asks the same question to the second person in line. The man is from a lost tribe deep within the Amazon forests. The tribesman replies with, "What's a Pope?"

Still not giving up, the Pope goes to the man at the front of the line. Thankfully, the man is a staunch Catholic and gladly lets the Pope stand in front of him.

A few minutes later the Pope is called up to the front. A man speaking on behalf of God says "You are about to be judged for the sins you have committed from being born up until you stepped forward towards me." "We use a points system, accumulate less than a certain number of points and you will go to heaven." "Accumulate too many points and you will go to hell for eternity." The Pope thinks to himself 'I'm the Pope, of course I'm going to heaven.' The man speaks again, saying, "The verdict is.... Unfortunately, you are going to hell." The Pope retorts with "No, no, there must be a mistake. I'm the Pope, if anything I should be the first person to go to heaven." The man shakes his head apologetically and says "I'm sorry but you exceeded the number of points by 1. If you had committed one less sin you would have gone to heaven." Continuing, the man says, "I'll read out some of the sins you committed. One was not greeting an archbishop when he opened a door for you. Another, ordering the Vatican toilet block to be out of bounds while you did your business there in peace. A third, excommunicating a priest when he took your parking space."

The Pope then asks, "Well what was the last sin I committed to get me that one extra point?"
The man replies with, "Cutting in to the front of this queue."

Came up with this as I was lying in bed sick. Don't ask why.