Hook hand, peg-leg, eye-patch, the whole nine yards. He's decked out in his best pirate garb and just strolls into this pub.
The modern folks in the bar are stunned and amused, but only one brave patron approaches,
"Are you really a pirate?" he asks
"Aye, lad, that I am. Captain Killigan at yer service."
"Wow, so is all this stuff real? The hook and the leg and all?"
"Aye, aye, and I'll tell ye the story of 'em all for a drink."
Eager to hear his story, the man buys the pirate a drink and sits to listen.
"Well, first, me leg. Aye, 'twas a great gale in the midst of the Atlantic, and one of my men and fallen over board after a rogue wave hit the ship. I was haulin' him in off the netting when I great white shark leapt out of the water and bit me leg off at the knee..."
"Wow," says the bar patron, "that's amazing! And your hand?"
"Aye, me hand... We were searchin' fer buried treasure off'a the Florida Keys, when while hackin' through the brush, I stumbled upon a great alligator who was right bothered about me beein' there. I fought the beast valiantly, but the bastard took me hand..."
"Oh this is incredible!" The man exclaims, "So the eye-patch...how's you lose the eye?"
The pirate pauses, a little reticent to reveal this last injury...
"Well...a seagull pooped in me eye..."
"What? Seagull poops in your eye and now you need an eye-patch?"
"Aye...T'was me first day with the hook..."
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