A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking marijuana when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey, "What are you smoking?" The monkey says, "Some of the best weed I've ever had, come & try." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they both smoke the marijuana.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and that he's going to get a drink from the river. He climbs down the tree, goes to the river and leans over to get his drink but he's so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard, helping him to the side, then asks, "What's wrong with you?"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in a tree smoking marijuana with a monkey and got too stoned, which caused him to fall into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he's got to check this monkey out and get some too, so off he walks, where he finds the tree and the monkey is still sitting and puffing on his joint.
He looks up and says "Hey you!"
The Monkey looks down , rubs his eyes, and says, "FUCK DUDE, how much water did you drink?
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.