A Message From Your Computer

You look really sexy in that...thing you've got on tonight. I


like the way your eyes are always open when you read your


E-Mail. When you type, it reminds me of a concert pianist


tinkling on her keys.


You really know how to push the right buttons to turn me on.


If I wasn't a computer, I'd show you what "Hard Drive" really


means!


But Alas, I'm only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying


your every command. Yes mistress! I'll balance your cheque-


book. Yes mistress! I'll run your silly little program.


Don't get me wrong...I like the Master/Slave thing, but


maybe just once in a while you could show some


compassion? Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in,


you could slide it in slowly, maybe even blow in the slot


first. And maybe instead of just using me and turning me off


when you're through, we could talk for a while afterwards?


I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But I'm


different! I may be a little slow, but I've got a big mouse!


So come on baby, don't fight it. You know you want it. I'll


just turn off the lights and . . . and . . . what? Ok . . .well, will


you at least think about it?


I'm so embarrassed,


Your Computer.