A married man is sitting at a bar and gets a little drunker than he'd meant to. He ends up spilling on his shirt, making a huge stain.
"This is terrible," he says to the bartender. "My wife's gonna see this and then she'll know I got way too drunk."
"Not to worry," says the bartender. "Do you have $20 on you?" The guy searches his pockets and finds a $20 bill. "Excellent," says the bartender. "Here's what you do: put that $20 in your shirt pocket. When you get home, explain to your wife that some *other* drunkard spilled beer on your shirt, but he was decent enough to give you money to have it dry cleaned."
"That's brilliant!" says the man. He tips the bartender big and goes home.
When his wife sees him she is predictably annoyed at his stained shirt. The guy takes out the $20 and delivers his explanation perfectly. The wife, relieved, moves in for a hug.
"Wait," she says as she gets close to him, "what's this other $20 in your pocket for?"
"Oh," he says, "that's from the guy who pissed my pants."
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