A man goes to see the doctor. He has a fork sticking out of his stomach and there's blood everywhere.
"Doctor, doctor, help me!"
The doctor looks at the man, and then looks at his watch. "I'm sorry, but it's 5pm and my work day is over."
"But doctor, please do something!"
The doctor thinks for a moment, then grabs the fork and sticks it in the man's eye. "Go to the oculist -- he works until 6."
*Note: I originally heard this one in Russian*
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