Having never done anything like this before in his life, he goes to visit a big-game hunter for some pointers.
"Oh, nothing to it, old boy," the grizzled hunter chuckled. He removed a double-barreled elephant gun from its stand and handed it to the man. "If a lion charges, just plant your feet, take a deep breath, aim, and fire."
"But what if I miss?"
"That's what the second barrel is for."
"And if i miss with *that*?"
"Well, in that case, reach around behind you, grab a big handful of shit, and throw it in the lion's eyes."
"A handful of shit? Where will I get *shit* from?"
"If you miss with both barrels, trust me - it'll be there."
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