A man walks into a bar with a giant microphone.

A man walks into a bar with a giant microphone. He sits it down next to him on a stool and asks the bartender for a drink.

"Yeah, I'll get ya a drink champ. But first ya gatta tell me about the... uh..." The bartender says, gesturing towards the microphone.

"Oh yeah, sure" the man replied calmly, " I stole God's Microphone."

"I don't believe you." said the bartender, laughing him off.

"Alright then. Here. I'll show you." He said as he brushed off a thick layer of dust and turned it on.

He then cleared his throat and declared, in a very deep, God like voice,

"Go fuck yourself."

The voice boomed and seemed to emanate from everywhere, the ground, the ceiling, the very air itself reverberated the mans message.

The bartender and everyone in the bar stood speechless.

After a moment a extremely startled priest runs into the bar.

"Did'ja just hear that?" asked the bartender.

"Sure did!" the priest exclaimed, grabbing a patrons drink and downing it,

"But that's nothing compared to what the nuns are doing!"