A man walks into a bar [NSFW]

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of 20 dollar bills on the table. He asks the bartender what the jar was for.

"We're having a contest" the bartender replies. "You put a 20 dollar bill in the jar and then have to complete 3 challenges. If you can complete them succesfully, you get the whole jar full of money."

"What are the challenges?" the man asks.

"Well, first you have to down eight shots of tequila in 20 seconds. Second, out back behind the bar there is an old, mean pitbull with a bad tooth. You have to pull that tooth. Finally, upstairs there is a 90 year old woman who has never had an orgasm; you have to fix that."

"Damn, that sounds a bit extreme for my taste, I think I'll just have a beer" the man says. The bartender chuckles understandingly and hands him a beer.

Over the next hour, the man has a few drinks and keeps eyeing the jar; the jar was *stuffed* with twenties, there had to be over a thousand bucks in it. Finally, he shrugs, pulls out a twenty, and puts it in the jar. At this, the entire bar cheers.

The bartender announces "Challenge one!" and pours the man eight shots. Without a moment's hesitation, the man pounds all of them back, with time to spare. The bar cheers again as the man announces, heavily inebriated and slurring his words, "Alright, I've done the shots, now for challenge two!" and stumbled out the back door, shutting it behind him.

The bar patrons can hear what happens next. Barking, yipping, the man yelping, the tearing of clothes; there is a true battle raging outside. Finally, it gets quiet and the man comes back in. His shirt is torn to shreds, he's bleeding from a dozen cuts and bits, but he stands triumphant with a huge, drunken smile on his face.

"Took care of the dog! Now, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"