A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of Crown

The bartender pulls out an apple from under the bar and hands it to the man. "No, I ordered a shot of Crown," the man says. "I know," says the bartender, "Take a bite. It tastes just like Crown Royal." The man does, and unbelievably, it tastes like what he ordered. "Well, what if I had ordered a martini? " he asks. The bartender replied, "Turn the apple around and take a bite." The man did, and it tasted just like a martini.
Just then, a midget walks up to the bar and asks for a beer. "It will be an apple." The first man says. "The bartender has apples that taste like whatever you order." The midget says "We'll in that case, I want some pussy." The bartender hands the midget an apple, and he takes a bite. He spits it out and yells, "This tastes like shit!!" The bartender says, "Turn it around."