A man is walking down the street...

And he sees a gnarled, wrinkled little old lady sitting on her porch. He starts to just keep walking, but he notices that the lady has a huge charismatic smile on her face.

The man walks up and says to her "Excuse me, I Couldn't help but notice how vibrant you look. Can you tell me what you've done to maintain what appears to be such a youthful exuberance?"

The lady responds "Sure, I get up every morning and smoke 2 stogies while I have my coffee with bourbon. Then I have some sausage for lunch, smoke some cigarettes and sometimes a joint before I bareback one of the guys I hang out with."

The man says "Oh my god, we've got to get you on tv! You've lived a long healthy life living like that! Exactly how old are you?"

The woman says "24."

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