A man goes to see his priest to confess his bad behavior.
Man: “I’m sorry father but I took the lords name in vain.”
Priest: “My son, you still seem upset at the matter. Why don’t you explain what happened and get it off your chest. You will feel much better afterwards.”
Man: “Ok father. I was out golfing and I was teeing up for a 375 yard hole. I was feeling well and thought I would try my best at getting my drive shot as close to the green as I could. So I put a lot more into my swing and I hit the ball further than I have ever hit it before. I hit it over 300 yards!”
Priest: “I know you got those new clubs. They are really good. Is that when you took the lords name in vain?”
Man: “No father. As I approached the ball, a squirrel ran out from the underbrush and carried it off. It ran up a shed, all the way to the roof, where I lost sight of it.”
Priest: “Is that when you took the lords name in vain?”
Man: ”No father. A hawk had spotted the squirrel and swooped down and snatched it up in its talons. The hawk then flew away with the squirrel, but the squirrel dropped my ball and it fell down onto the green and rolled to a few inches away from the hole.”
The priest paused for a moment, looking at the man.
Priest: ”You missed the fucking putt, didn’t ya.”
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