A man goes to a bar one night and gets good and liquored up. towards the end of the night he starts feeling a bit woozy and he pukes all over his shirt.
The man drunkenly turns to the guy next to him and says "Great, now what am I going to do. My wife said she would leave me if I come home drunk again."
The guy next to him says " Don't worry about it. All you need to do is take $10 out of your wallet, put it in your shirt pocket, and say some drunk guy puked on you at the bar. Then you tell your wife he gave you $10 for a new shirt."
The man agrees that this is a great idea, so he heads home to his wife.
Once he gets there his wife is pissed. She starts screaming at him on the front porch "I can't believe you came home drunk again. That's it I'm moving out!"
The man says "No wait let me explain. Some drunk ass at the bar puked on me. See, he gave me $10 to buy a new shirt"
The wife then says "Well what's the other $10 for."
The man replies "Oh yeah, he shit my pants too."
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