A man gets sent to prison for a crime he didn't commit.

It's his first time in prison and he's not taking it well. He's laying in his bed crying his eyes out, scared for what might happen to him in there. An old man who's clearly been locked up a long time comes in and tries to comfort him.

"There, there, buddy. It's not all bad. Let me ask you this. Do you like Italian food?"

"Yeah," says the crying man

"Well, every Monday night, we have a huge Italian dinner, spaghetti, meatballs, sausage, everything. And that's not all. Do you like baseball?"

"Yea," says the man again

"Well, every Tuesday we have a big game out in the yard. There are enough of us where we actually get to have a full season of games. It's all very sporting. If you're not playing, there are bleachers and popcorn. It's great. Do you like movies?"

"Absolutely," says the man, now starting to feel a bit better

"Well, every Wednesday they play movies on the big screen in the theater. Three movies a day, and it's different every week. They play the classics, and even movies that are just coming out in theaters. It's amazing."

"This all sounds really great."

"It really is," says the old man. "Let me ask you this. Are you a homosexual?"

"Um, no, I'm not."

"Oh, well... You're not going to like Thursday."

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