A man complaining of pain in his arm

A man is talking to his friend, and he mentions that his arm has been bothering him all week. He told his friend he was planning on making a doctor's appointment for the next day. His friend insists that instead he goes to the pharmacy, for they have a new machine that for $10 and a urine sample, it will give a diagnosis.

So the guy decides to try it out. He goes to the pharmacy and finds the machine. So he inserts his $10 and the urine sample, and after minute or so a paper pops out and says

>>You have tennis elbow. Soak your elbow in warm water for the next two weeks.

The guy believes this machine is a scam, so he decides to perform a little experiment. He went home and made a mixture of water, his dog's urine, his daughter's urine, and to top it off, he added his own semen.

So the next day he went back to the pharmacy, put $10 in the machine and inserted the concoction. Just as the last time, after about a minute a paper pops out that says:

>>Your tap has lead, your dog has worms, your daughter's on drugs, and you're not her biological father.

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I know this has been posted before (like a couple years ago), but this has a different ending based on the original I heard years ago on an old Comedy Central Joke App.