A recently down-on-his-luck lawyer decided to open his own medical practice.
A large sign was posted, "Checkups: $300 for me if successfully treated, $1000 for you if not"
Pretty soon, a doctor saw the clinic and, knowing a lawyer was running the place, saw an opportunity for a quick $1000.
The Doctor walked in, and claimed, "I'm having trouble with my nose, I can't smell anything, and I don't know what the issue is"
The Lawyer smiles and tells his nurse "Drop three drops of vial #22 on this man's tongue."
The doctor complied, but quickly realized, "Wait! This is pure gasoline! What the hell!"
The Lawyer responded, "Congratulations! Your nose seems to be working just fine! That's going to be $300"
The Doctor begrudgingly gives the Lawyer $300.
However, still dissatisfied, he returns a week later and claims, "I'm having trouble remembering things, do you think you could help me out?"
The lawyer smiles and says "Nurse, please retrieve vial #22, and drop four drops on this man's tongue"
The Doctor quickly exclaims "You monster! Vial #22 is filled with Gas! And last time you dropped three drops on my tongue!"
The Lawyer responded, "Congratulations! Your memory seems to be fixed now! Amazing! That will be $300"
Furious, the doctor paid his dues, and left, crestfallen.
Still sore about his loss of $600, the Doctor decided to try one more time at the $1000 and walks into the clinic another week later, "Doc, I can't seem to see anything! Is there anything you can do??"
The lawyer frowned and said, "well, no, I don't believe so, here, have $1000" and handed over a stack of bills. The Doctor exclaimed, "Wait! Those are just $5 bills! That's not going to be $1000!"
The Lawyer responded, "Congratulations! Your eyes seem to be working just fine! That'll be $300."
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