The Shrunken Head

A man walks into a sex shop and tells the owner, "Hey, my wife hasn't had sex with me in forever. I'm looking for something exciting to get her back in the mood."

The shop owner thinks for a minute and says, "I have something for you. It's a shrunken head made by an African witch doctor. What you do is you hold it in your hand, and when your wife is sleeping you whisper what you want in her ear, and the next day she'll give it to you."

That sounded good, so the man bought the shrunken head, and that night after she fell asleep he whispered the words "Hot, passionate sex," into her ear. The next day went by normally, but that evening when he started to kiss her she went along, and they wound up having the best sex since their wedding night.

She fell asleep before he did, and he figured that the head worked so well that he'd see what else he could get her to do. He grabbed it again and whispered into her ear.

"A blowjob."

Sure enough, the next night before the went to bed, they started fooling around again, and without him even asking she undid his belt, dropped his pants, and gave him an amazing blowjob. After she went to sleep again, he picked up the head, and decided to try for something that she had never let him do before.

"Anal."

Just as before, they started fooling around before they went to bed, and when he rolled her over and starting fucking her in the ass she didn't complain. That night, feeling that he'd gotten a pretty good deal, he went to sleep without whispering anything into her ear.

The next day he found himself going to an expensive jewelry store to buy a necklace for his wife. After all, she deserved it, didn't she? The night ended without anything happening, though, so he went looking for his shrunken head, but couldn't find it. He had to go to sleep without it, and after work the next day he thought to himself that he should get his wife a new car. He brought it home and she was thrilled, but again when he tried to get passionate with her that night she said she had a headache. He looked for the shrunken head again, but it was nowhere to be found.

The husband started to get suspicious, so he tried to stay awake as long as he could while pretending to sleep. She was too patient, though, so he quietly up his phone to record while he was sleeping, worried about what she would make buy next, because between the necklace and the car he was already broke.

Sure enough, he fell asleep, and the next moment he frantically listened to the recording, trying to figure out how he was going to pay for whatever she wanted. He got to the part where he heard her whispering something, and turned volume way up so that he could hear it.

"Justice for Harambe"