A horse, a dog and a snake line up for a race...

The horse said to the snake "How do you possibly think you'll be able to outrun me?" The snake replied "I don't plan to. I will win using my gut." The horse scoffed and took his position.

The whistle blew and off they went. The horse charged down the field and into the distance. The dog was seen chasing behind but clearly unable to match the blazing speed of the horse.

After a few hundred metres the horse was closing in on the finishing line. Given that the dog or snake were nowhere to be seen, the horse decided to take a breather and take a sip from the nearby river.

"SQUEAK!" came a sudden noise. The horse let out a whine and fell into the water.

The conniving snake had sneakily latched onto the horse before the start of the race and had a live rodent hidden in his gut prepared for this very moment. "Sssssorry.." he muttered sarcastically as he began to slither towards the finish.

To the snake's horror the dog was already at the finishing line! Puffing and wheezing the snake asked "How?!" To which the dog replied "Mate our owners are sick in the head. They're racing a dog, a horse and a fucking snake in 35 degree weather for the love of god. As soon as that whistle blew and we were out of their vision I cut straight through the hedgerow to the finish. What the hell is wrong with you two?!"

(I have never written a joke before and was bored at work)

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