He notices his wife is being super nice to him - she makes him breakfast in bed, asks him if he needs anything, hums to herself happily.
Confused, he asks his kid: "Psst, hey, what's going on?".
The kid says: "Well, last night you came home drunk as a skunk, kicked the dog, vomited on the carpet, and pissed in the flower pot. And when mom tried to take off your clothes to put you to bed, you said - leave me alone bitch, I'm married!"
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