After a few drinks they decide to go back to her place. Things start getting steamy but he stops her and says "this is embarrassing, but I'm a virgin and I'm not exactly what to do next"
The girl tells him not to worry, that she is quite versed in this. She says "go in the back yard and find the old pine tree, there's a knot in the tree about the right height, take your pants off and practice on the tree until it feels good for you, if it feels good for you it'll feel good for me"
He thinks it's a bit strange but does it anyways. About 15 minutes later he comes back inside to find her laying on the bed, she excitedly asks "are you ready?"
He says yes, then bends down and picks up a stick and starts beating the shit out of her.
Screaming, she asks what he's doing, he says "this time, I'm going to make sure there isn't a squirrel in the hole!"
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