A guy jogging on the beach sees a girls with no arms or legs.

Her torso is just propped up on some sand. As he draws nearer he sees that she's crying. He doesn't want to intrude, but he figures she might need some help.

"Excuse me, miss. Why are you crying?" he asks.
She responds "I'm just so sad! I've never been kissed before and I don't guess I ever will!"

The guy feels uncomfortable but decides "what the hell" and kisses her full on the mouth, big sloppy kiss.
"Thank you, I feel so much better now!," the girl says as the guy continues his run on down the beach.

The next day on his morning run the guy sees the same girl, still armless, still legless, sitting on the beach crying her eyes out.

The guy is a little peeved to see the girl repeating her routine from the day before so he runs up to her again to confront her.

"Why are you crying now? I kissed you yesterday and you felt better!"
"I know," she replied, "but I've just gotten really upset thinking about how I've never been fingered before!"

The guy feels really strange about fingering a girl on the beach, especially one with no arms or legs, but he decided there'd be no harm. After a good fingering session, he takes off down the beach on his run again, followed by the heartfelt "thank you's!" from the girl on the beach.

The next day while out running again, the guy sees the same girl lying on the beach, crying, crying, crying.
"What is it now, for chrissakes? I kissed you, I fingered you! What more do you want?!," the guy asks.
"I was just upset," the girl said, "because I've never been fucked."
The guy leans in, picks her up, and throws her into the ocean.
"You're fucked now, aren't you?"

edit: To everyone that says this joke's been posted a ton of times, and done better I apologize! This was the way I heard it years ago and I haven't seen it on here before!