So a guy gets pulled over by a patrol car. The cop approaches the car and explains that he pulled the man over for speeding.
"That's impossible," says the man, "I was using my cruise control, and was going exactly the speed limit."
The man's wife says, "Oh that's not true, the cruise control never worked in this car, and you always drive too fast."
The man looks over and scowls at her and says "Shut the fuck up, bitch! I'm handling this, just keep your damn mouth shut."
The officer continues. "Also, I noticed you're not wearing your seat belt."
"Oh, I was wearing it," says the man, "but I took it off when I pulled over so I could get my wallet out."
Again the wife pipes up. "Oh, that's not true. You never wear your seat belt."
The man turns to his wife, really pissed off now. "Bitch, I told you to shut the fuck up! Just keep your fucking trap shut you worthless cunt!"
The officer leans down to address the woman. "Does he always treat you this way, ma'am?"
"No," the wife replies. "Only when he's been drinking."
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