A man is drinking at the bar, he pukes all over himself and turns to the bartender, "bartender you gotta help me out, my wife is going to kill me if I come home like this." The bartender replies "No problem, do you have 10 bucks? Just put that in your shirt pocket and tell her you were working late and on your way home a drunk guy threw up on you and gave you the $10 to have your shirt cleaned and pressed." Delighted the man continues drinking and later leaves. When he gets home his wife is furious, accuses him of drinking all night. The man tells her how he was working late and a drunk threw up on him and gave him the 10 dollars to have his shirt cleaned and pressed. He pulls the bill out of his pocket as proof. His wife snatches it and says "but this is a $20!" ... "oh yeah, he shit in my pants too."
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