A Chinese guy decides to retire and move to USA

...after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a home on a small piece of land. A few days after moving in. The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese guy running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese leading a bull down the drive-way, ...pause...., and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese guy and says, "Dude - what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's ass, it could just about shit on you."

The Chinaman is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no ... Chinese customs I doing, these American Customs."

"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."

"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese, "He say to become true American, I must learn to .... chase chicks, .... get piss drunk, and ....listen to bull-shit."

EDIT: Americanization of vocabulary.