A child walks in on his parents having an argument and he hears "You bitch!" and "You bastard!" He asks, "What does that mean?". His parents, not expecting the question, answer "They're other words for 'Ladies and Gentlemen'."
The child later walks in on his parents having make-up sex and hears "Nice tits!" and "Nice dick!" He asks, "What does that mean?" His parents answer "It means 'coats and hats'."
The next day is Thanksgiving. The father is in the bathroom shaving when he cuts himself with the razor and shouts "Shit!" The child overhears and asks "What does that mean?" "It's the brand of shaving cream that I use", the father replies.
Downstairs, his mother is preparing Thanksgiving dinner when she cuts her finger with a knife and yells "Fuck!". "What does that mean?" the child asks. His mother, impatient and in pain, replies, "It means 'Stuff', okay?".
Just then, the doorbell rings to announce their guests for dinner. The child opens the door to greet them and says:
"Hello, bitches and bastards. You may leave your tits and dicks by the door. My parents will be with you shortly: my dad has shit on his face and my mom's fucking the turkey!"
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