A grandpa was smoking a cigarette with his grandson on his knee and the child asks "can i have a cig grandpa?". The grandpa said "does your dick touch your ass?" The child said no. The next day the scene was unfolding again. Instead this time the grandpa was drinking a beer. The child asked for the beer and received the same response. The next day however the child was eating cookies. The grandpa asked "can i have a cookie?" The child said "does your dick touch your ass?" The grandpa said yes. The child said "then you can go fuck yourself".
Edit: I have people saying i stole their joke. Im sorry if you posted it first but my grandfather told me this joke when i was a lad
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