A boy leaves for church and comes back with two black eyes

his mom takes one look him before she shouts

"How in the hell did you get two black eyes?! You should have been praying not fighting!"

"Mom! It's not what you think!" he starts to explain, " When I knelt down in prayer I noticed the woman in front of me had a massive wedgie and her dress was tucked into her buttcrack. I thought she might be embarrassed if I brought it up, so I reached in there and tried to fish it out for her! I thought she'd be grateful but instead she socked me right in the eye!"

This mom stares at her son, anger bubbling up through the shocked expression on her face.

"That explains one eye. Now what happened to the other?"

He stammers at her "I-I thought I hurt her feelings by pulling it out so I tried to put it back in!"

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