A boy and his grandfather...

A young boy and his grandfather were sitting outside enjoying the summer breeze. The boys grandfather pulled out a cigar, lit it, and puffed away contently. The boy looked at his grandfather and asked if he could take a puff. The grandfather replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" to which the boy responded, "No sir." "Then you are not old enough" the grandfather snapped back.
A few minutes later the grandfather pulled a beer out of his cooler, and took a sip. The boy asked if he could try the beer. The grandfather replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" to which the boy responded, "No sir." Grandpa huffed. "Then you are not old enough."

The boy gave up and ran inside the house to go play.
An hour later the boy came outside with a plate of cookies.
The grandfather asked the boy, "Can I have a cookie?"
The boy replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa laughed. "Hell yeah, my dick can touch my ass."
The boy smirked. "Then go fuck yourself, grandma made these cookies for me."

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