A bear walks into a bar...

...after a long hot day. He sidles up to the bar, and demands a beer to satisfy his thirst. The bartender, accustomed to rude drunks, says, "Hoy! See this sign behind me? It says this is the 'No Bear Beer Bar'. We serve beers, but not to bears...so beat it." The bear, a little shocked from the abruptness of the bartender gets a little flummoxed, but stands his ground. "Yeah, I'm a bear. Do you see how big I am? Do you see how big my teeth and claws are? I demand a beer. I had a long day. I'm tired, I'm thirsty, & I want a goddamn beer right now!" The bartender looks the bear straight in the eyes and says, "No... Bear... Beer... Bar... No!" The bear, getting angry now, looks around. He sees a lady sitting at the bar's end, with a couple of lumberjacks, giggling away. He returns the bartender's stare, and growls back, "Do you see that lady sitting over there? If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to go eat her. Now give...me... a... beer!!" The bartender cooly says, "No bears get beers in the No Bear Beer Bar." So the Grizzly, now thoroughly pissed off at this blatant discrimination, lumbers over to the lady, & because of his huge size, swallows her whole. Then he walks back up to the bartender, and before he can say anything, the bartender says "No druggies allowed either, now get out!" This new attack stops the bear in his tracks. "Druggies? What the hell are you talking about?" The bartender replies, "That was a barbitchyouate, bear. Now beat it."
The bear, defeated, slowly exits the bar. Heading back out into the blazing sun, with the bar bitch upsetting his stomach. He heads off into the woods, and a few minutes later feels like he has to take a massive shit. He settles in and just starts to paint the plants all around him. The cacophony of his dilemma can be heard for a few hundred yards away. Finally, as he clears out the remnants of a dismal day, he looks over to see a terrified rabbit crouching behind a small shrub frozen with fear while also trying to take a dump. So the bear asks, "Hey pal. Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit a little nervously replies , "Um, no. Not really." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.