They appear at the gates of heaven, guarded by Saint Peter.
"Welcome" he announced sternly. "Come forward 1 by 1. Repent your sins, tell it true, be cleansed and you may enter the kingdom of heaven for eternity."
Guy #1 steps forward nervously. "Great Saint, I have looked at a man's penis with great lust".
Saint Peter flicked through the book of life, nodding thoughtfully. " So you have child." He pointed to a cauldron off to his right. "Go, wash your eyes out in the holy water, be cleansed and you may enter."
Guy #1 obliges and upon washing his eyes out the gates of heaven magically open and he enters.
Guy #2 then approaches. "Great Saint, I have touched a man's penis and held it in my hands."
Saint Peter once again consulted the book of life and gesticulated to the cauldron. "Wash your hands off in the holy water child, be cleansed and you may enter."
He also obliges, washing his hand thoroughly. The gates magically open allowing him entry.
Guy #4 then steps forward. Saint Peter looked at him in bewilderment. "You were last in line, son. I said 1 by 1 and there will be no cutting. Let #3 in first and wait your turn".
"Look here Saint, " guy #4 snapped, "if #3 has to wash his ass out in that water, there's no way I'm putting it in my mouth!"
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